Testimonials
FROM COLLEGE TEACHERS OF NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION (NVC)
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- I have been using Connection in my first year Criminology class on Interpersonal and Professional Development for 5 years. I recommend it highly. It offers an accessible introduction to the attitudes and skills of Nonviolent Communication in a jargon-free style that works well for young adults.
Simon Beck, M. Ed., Registered Clinical Counselor; Faculty, Kwantlen Polytechnic University, BC Canada - Connection is a gentle introduction to NVC, with an abundance of inviting exercises to reinforce the communication skills the reader is learning. It sparkles with humor. The comfortable language was effective in engaging my college students and easily interested the adult learner, as well.
Jane Connor, Ph.D., certified NVC trainer; co-author of Connecting Across Differences: A Guide to Compassionate, Nonviolent Communication - I loved Connection, especially the fifth component: “An Attitude.” As a longtime NVC trainer, I know that Intention, or Attitude, lies at the heart of successful communication. Fraser captures this admirably. I also enjoyed the change from self-empathy to self-care.
Jim Hussey, Licensed Professional Counselor; Past Regional Coordinator Oregon Network – Compassionate Communication
- I have been using Connection in my first year Criminology class on Interpersonal and Professional Development for 5 years. I recommend it highly. It offers an accessible introduction to the attitudes and skills of Nonviolent Communication in a jargon-free style that works well for young adults.
FROM STUDENTS WHO USED CONNECTION AS THEIR COLLEGE TEXTBOOK
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- Before taking this class, anger was just an emotion I felt. I either blew up at a person or held it all in and never talked about it. I lost relationships using either strategy. This class has aided me in understanding my anger and making a choice of how to deal with it.
~ Nesreen, student - Once you can see the needs of all the people involved, it makes trying to figure out what you can do differently next time much easier.
~ Nick, student - I want to continue to commit deliberate acts of self-care, whether they are big or small. I will also remember that I have control over my choices.
~ Megan, student - I used to try to win arguments simply for the sake of winning. Now I try to focus on respecting the other person, even though I may not agree with them. I am better about keeping in mind my goal of putting the relationship first.
~ Jeff, student - I have been one to hope something will happen without me asking. I said “I’m cold” and then got mad at my boyfriend for not shutting the window. That’s not fair. I now see I wasn’t clear with my needs. I never asked for what I wanted.
~ Meg, student - I think the biggest thing I learned about managing conflict is that my trying to avoid it only causes more conflict. Just knowing that conflict is healthy and natural is a nice thing to know when my whole life I have been doing everything possible to avoid it. I have learned instead to allow myself to be angry and find out what is underneath it before expressing it.
~ Allyson, student
- Before taking this class, anger was just an emotion I felt. I either blew up at a person or held it all in and never talked about it. I lost relationships using either strategy. This class has aided me in understanding my anger and making a choice of how to deal with it.
FROM NVC TRAINERS & NVC PRACTICE GROUP LEADERS
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- For 8 years, I have used many of the exercises in this book in the NVC workshops I lead and the follow-up practice groups I support. These exercises draw people into thoughtful consideration of nonviolent consciousness and how to apply this powerful way of thinking and speaking to their own lives. Both newcomers and intermediate students of NVC find the explanations easily grasped and enticing. They are well received by teens and adults.
Peggy Smith, certified NVC trainer; co-founder of Maine NVC Network; founder of Open Communications - Fraser shows how NVC can impact your life and the lives of those around you. Connection is full of exercises tested in the classroom. The many student stories provide a virtual community.
Pan Vera, co-founder New England NVC; member CNVC LeadershipTeam; IT coordinator for CNVC for 10 years - I have taught classes based on Connection at the UU for 10 years. While this book is anchored in a college setting, the group of professional adults we formed to teach ourselves NVC, found we could use the exercises with minimal revision. I personally have found Fraser’s Connection worth reading and re-reading.
Carolyn Stevens, real estate investor, Boston - The author clearly presents the basic concepts of Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication, with examples and exercises. She emphasizes the importance of active self-care and self- awareness. This text would serve well for group or individual study. I recommend it.
Jane P. Ives, Reviewer of Resources for United Methodist Marriage and Family Ministries - This material is so accessible, so inviting that I am thinking of organizing a study group. You have done all the work.
Estil Putney, stone carver, leader of Dances of Universal Peace, Blacksburg, Virginia
- For 8 years, I have used many of the exercises in this book in the NVC workshops I lead and the follow-up practice groups I support. These exercises draw people into thoughtful consideration of nonviolent consciousness and how to apply this powerful way of thinking and speaking to their own lives. Both newcomers and intermediate students of NVC find the explanations easily grasped and enticing. They are well received by teens and adults.
FROM EXPLORERS OF LIFE INSPIRED BY CONNECTION
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- What I loved about this book is that it allows for flaws and failures. While a regular communication book only provides the optimal solution, I have learned there are many paths to be followed after making a mistake. If a conversation went badly, try again. If the solution that you and the other party came up with doesn’t work out, don’t lose heart, just start over. Look for problems before they arise, go and confront the person before they need to confront you, but if you don’t, here’s how to handle it when they complain.
Paul Duevel, teacher, Norway - Connection gave me words for where I am and where I want to go. This book has been life-changing for me. It has been exciting to see my own kids starting to use these skills, too.
Emily Merrill, farmer, Burlington, Vermont - I return regularly to re-read Connection. It reminds me of how I aspire to be in relationship to myself and others. Reviewing these ideas is a support to my steady improvement in turning these ideas into my habitual responses.
Bonnie Fraser, your author, Scottsdale, Arizona
- What I loved about this book is that it allows for flaws and failures. While a regular communication book only provides the optimal solution, I have learned there are many paths to be followed after making a mistake. If a conversation went badly, try again. If the solution that you and the other party came up with doesn’t work out, don’t lose heart, just start over. Look for problems before they arise, go and confront the person before they need to confront you, but if you don’t, here’s how to handle it when they complain.